Al-Himmah Al-Ordonyah and Yarmouk River in North Jordan
Trevor Noah narrated in his memoir, Born a Crime, stories about his life in South Africa, the apartheid, racism, and the horrible abuse of Africans and the treasures of their land by the White conqueror. He was born to an African mother and a Swiss/German father, where his birth was a crime in South Africa. In fact, the law punished any sexual relationship between a Black and White person as stated by the 1927 Immorality Act:
BE IT ENACTED by the King’s Most Excellent Majesty, the Senate and the House of Assembly of the Union of South Africa, as follows:
Trevor explained that there are 3 levels of color in South Africa: White, Black, and Colored. The latter was a mixed race resulting from intercourse between a White and Black person. Trevor grew up as a colored child in a Black family, where he was treated leniently except for his mom, who loved him dearly but punished him whenever he did messed-up. Her tough love meant to help him learn from his mistakes without killing him, whereas if the government punished him, it will hurt (and maybe kill) him because they do not care about him since he is just a colored man! The three levels were treated differently as the White are the most privileged and rich ones. The Colored are the ones less privileged with less rights than the Whites, as they cannot live in the same neighborhood with Whites, but are more privileged than the Blacks. The latter cannot live in White or Colored neighborhoods, are poor, and have no rights. Unlike Whites, Colored and Blacks lack chances like going to university or dreaming of having higher education.
During apartheid, the Black man was only allowed to work on a farm, or in a factory or mine, and the Black woman could work in a factory or as a maid. The race, tribe, and nationality of each person also were printed on their birth certificate. They even had to have permits to move to or work in some cities that are only allowed to White and/or Mixed people. For example, Blacks weren’t allowed to live in Johannesburg! This is exactly what is currently happening in Palestine since 1948! Trevor also added that Afrikaners, the successors of Dutch settlers, have enforced the worst kinds of racism, “British racism said, “If the monkey can walk like a man and talk like a man, then perhaps he is a man.” Afrikaner racism said, “Why give a book to a monkey?”
Because of apartheid, Trevor lost the time needed to have a relationship with his biological dad (Robert). During his childhood, Trevor spent every week with his dad away from people as no one should know that he is the son of a White man. At some point, Robert had a steakhouse in Johannesburg that served all kinds of people, irrespective of color, but the government did not like this approach and so forced him to have 3 kinds of restrooms that would serve the 3 Colors in South Africa. Robert refused this order, close his restaurant, and left the city! when Trevor became an adult, he searched for Robert and tried to know him. He discovered that his dad was a secretive friendly person who hated racism. He also depicted how his mom used to pay a Black woman to stroll Trevor in the park, where his mom would follow them from a distance since she cannot be shown with a Colored (light skinned Black) boy.
He also described racism in schools where he was placed with White kids but asked to move to the classroom of colored students, where an Indian boy became his friend. His request was rejected at first by commenting that he shouldn’t be with these “low-class” kids! But due to his insistence, he moved to their class where he felt part of the colored and Black students! Moreover, Trevor didn’t belong to any group in school and so he mingled in all groups and was accepted by most of the kids - Blacks, Mixed, Whites, and Indians.
Trevor commented that he is a Black man but with a different shade, and the apartheid used these 3 levels of color in South Africa to keep Africans divided. The European Conquerors (The UK, Netherlands, Belgium…etc.) even created conflicts between the African tribes to strengthen their hold over Africa’s treasures by following the British saying ‘Divide and Conquer’! So tribes fought with each other about who should rule South Africa. Some of them even allowed raping women from another tribe that was considered of lower status than their tribe!
In 1990, Trevor was almost 6 years old when Mandela was released from prison. This democratic achievement over apartheid was followed by a blood bath, yet it was called Bloodless Revolution because a pittance amount of White blood was spilled! The fight was between the 2 Black parties (the Inkatha Freedom Party vs. African National Congress) over who should rule the country! He also underlined the role of gangs in helping its people by providing work, school scholarships, shelter, or food …etc., unlike the conquerors who only robbed the life, identity, country, and treasures of Blacks! He also added that the police were corrupt as they pulled Black and Mixed South Africans who would be imprisoned if they didn’t bribe them!
Trevor noted that the colonizers forced their religion (Christianity) on Africans. He also said, “If you’re Native American and you pray to the wolves, you’re a savage. If you’re African and you pray to your ancestors, you’re a primitive. But when white people pray to a guy who turns water into wine, well, that’s just common sense.” I like his logic! He also had a funny argument with the nuns about wanting to have the holy communion, as he wasn’t allowed to have it due to not being Catholic. He once told them “But Jesus wasn’t Catholic. Jesus was Jewish. So you’re telling me that if Jesus walked into your church right now, Jesus would not be allowed to have the body and blood of Jesus?” Furthermore, there were 3 kinds of churches in South Africa; White, Colored, and Black, for the 3 races, where Trevor loved the first 2.
Colonization in South Africa started in 1652 when the Dutch established Kaapstad (now known as Cape Town) as a stop for the ships traveling between Europe and India. Then the British came, who not only enslaved Africans but also forced them to work in gold and diamond mines, which they stole and became rich, leaving the original owners impoverished! Apartheid in South Africa is similar to what the White man did to Native Americans. The British forcefully removed the Black man from his land, took down his house, and moved him to other arid areas (like the reservations of Native Americans), and segregated them according to color; White, Mixed, and Black areas/neighborhoods. They were given 13% of the total land of their own country! Trevor recounted a humorous story about racism in South Africa. The White man considered Chinese Blacks, and Japanese White (because of the business relationship between the 2 countries), yet they couldn’t distinguish between the 2 nationalities!
Cities in South Africa were named after Whites, as they did in the US. For example, Alexandra was the name of a White man’s wife who owned a farm in that area. He also described that blacks give their children an English and African name. The African name describes the kid’s character, and the English one is of a famous person. He mentioned an incident about this issue that happened when he and his DJ and dancing crew, which included a Black guy called Hitler, where performing to a cultural group of Jewish people. Hitler went on stage for his dancing performance. So Trevor as usual started stirring the crowd by calling Hitler to the dancing floor. At which the crowd enthusiasm died and the organizer verbally attacked Trevor and his crew, accusing of rudeness by insulting them, since the Jewish were prosecuted by Hitler – similar to what the White man did to Native Americans and Africans, as well as to what Israel did and still doing to Palestinians!
Trevor explained that as Hitler was the worst person for the Jewish, Columbus or Andrew Jackson was the nightmare of Native Americans, Cecil Rhodes was the enemy of Black South Africans, King Leopold II of Belgium was the ghost of people of Congo, the Portuguese explorer Diogo Cão whose expedition resulted in ensiling Angolans, and I can add Djemal Pasha the murderer who assaulted, raped, and savagely killed Arabs during the Ottoman Empire. One thing that Trevor stressed that unlike all occupiers, the Nazis documented everything they did during the Holocaust which is why Jews had superiority over other conquered nations in asking for their rights or presence. None of the White leaders or Ottomans kept records about the number of people (which would be in millions) they starved, raped, tortured (sometimes by impalement or crucifixion), enslaved, separated from their families, or slaughtered!
Additionally, Trevor described his challenging childhood and the lack of chances given to his people, and the faith of his mom that probably saved her life from her ex-husband Abel, Trevor’s step-dad. He shot Trevor’s mom but the bullet went through and left her body! He was imprisoned but the judge let him out on bail after Abel stated that he needed to work to support his kids! But the irony was that he lost his car-repair garage and was living off the money of his ex-wife! Trevor’s mom divorced her husband, when his drug/alcohol addiction and violent behavior affected their safety! She raised their young children on her own. And when Trevor became 17, his mom asked to move out to save him for her dangerous husband. He also mentioned his mom’s faith in Jesus esp. after being shot by her husband. God saved her by causing the gun to jam and most bullets to miss her, giving her a chance to hide from Abel’s craziness!
As a teenager, Trevor discovered that “time is money!” So, he worked to get orders for his classmates and neighbors from cafeterias and shops due to being fast. Later with his friends, Trevor started copying pirating CDs from the internet and selling them to his classmates or bus drivers. He made good amount of money! They also started buying and reselling things with higher prices or by credit similar to what happens in a pawn shop! Afterwards, he and his friends established a DJ and dancing crew that performed in open parties in several neighborhoods in South Africa.
On the other hand, Trevor highlighted his mom’s role in making him a good man by doing what schools in South Africa aimed at not doing! She taught him how to think! Post-apartheid, the government did not want to educate Blacks and teach them to use their brains. Because this would enlighten the Black man which would urge him to resist the government’s racist laws! Parents’ role in guiding and supporting their children and teaching them to speak up for themselves, and how to think and be independent is very important in helping them shape their future path and succeed in being who they are!
This is like the key role of the mother of my late grandfather Suleiman Mousa. He said in his books that “My mother is the greatest person in my life!” This is because his father died when he was 6 years old leaving him and his sister poor orphans. His mom refused to remarry for her children’s sake despite being young and receiving many suitors! She did everything to educate him. She even once left Al-Rafeed (a small village north of the city of Irbid) on a donkey and traveled 26 km to Al-Huson city to check on her teenage son (Suleiman), who was studying there. But he was sick and so she put him on the animal and walked the distance back to Al-Rafeed to take care of him! He used to say, “a mother would throw herself into the fire for her children!”
Trevor’s mom also taught him to acknowledge her by looking at her when he talks to her. She also educated him about the right way to treat his woman, including: “Trevor, remember a man is not determined by how much he earns. You can still be the man of the house and earn less than your woman. Being a man is not what you have, it’s who you are. Being more of a man doesn’t mean your woman has to be less than you.” “Trevor, make sure your woman is the woman in your life. Don’t be one of these men who makes his wife compete with his mother. A man with a wife cannot be beholden to his mother.” “Show me that I exist to you, because the way you treat me is the way you will treat your woman. Women like to be noticed. Come and acknowledge me and let me know that you see me. Don’t just see me when you need something.”
Finally, Trevor commented “I don’t regret anything I’ve ever done in life, any choice that I’ve made. But I’m consumed with regret for the things I didn’t do, the choices I didn’t make, the things I didn’t say. We spend so much time being afraid of failure, afraid of rejection. But regret is the thing we should fear most. Failure is an answer. Rejection is an answer. Regret is an eternal question you will never have the answer to.” “What if…” “If only…” “I wonder what would have…” You will never, never know, and it will haunt you for the rest of your days.” For instance, he regretted not telling Zaheera (the girl he loved) that he loved her, esp. that her girlfriends told him that she loved him too! But it was too late since she left to the US because of her dad’s work.
My favorite quotes:
The chant that South Africans would sing during their struggle for freedom “When you strike a woman, you strike a rock."
Trevor thoughts “Language brings with it an identity and a culture, or at least the perception of it.” And “the racism code says if he doesn’t look like me he isn’t like me, but the language code says if he speaks like me he…is like me? Something is off here. I can’t figure this out.”
Trevor thoughts “Racism exists. People are getting hurt, and just because it’s not happening to you doesn’t mean it’s not happening.”
Trevor thoughts “a knowledgeable man is a free man, or at least a man who longs for freedom. The only way to make apartheid work, therefore, was to cripple the black mind."
Trevor’s mom to Trevor “Learn from your past and be better because of your past,” she would say, “but don’t cry about your past. Life is full of pain. Let the pain sharpen you, but don’t hold on to it. Don’t be bitter.”
Trevor thoughts “you can only dream of what you can imagine, and, depending on where you come from, your imagination can be quite limited."
Trevor thoughts “I was blessed with another trait I inherited from my mother: her ability to forget the pain in life. I remember the thing that caused the trauma, but I don’t hold on to the trauma. I never let the memory of something painful prevent me from trying something new.”
Trevor thoughts about relationships based on his relation with his dog Fufi “You do not own the thing that you love.”
Trevor’s dad to Trevor “Africa is full of black people,” he would say. “So why would you come all the way to Africa if you hate black people? If you hate black people so much, why did you move into their house?” To him it was insane."
Trevor thoughts “Revenge … takes you to a dark place, but, man, it satisfies a thirst.”
Trevor thoughts about the scanty resources available for Blacks and Mixed South Africans “People love to say, “Give a man a fish, and he’ll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he’ll eat for a lifetime.” What they don’t say is, “And it would be nice if you gave him a fishing rod.”
Trevor thoughts “But if white people ever saw black people as human, they would see that slavery is unconscionable. We live in a world where we don’t see the ramifications of what we do to others, because we don’t live with them. If we could see one another’s pain and empathize with one another, it would never be worth it to us to commit the crimes in the first place."
Trevor said, “Language brings with it an identity and a culture…” and “the racism code says if he doesn’t look like me he isn’t like me, but the language code says if he speaks like me he…is like me?” He also noted that “Nelson Mandela once said, “If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart.” He was so right. When you make the effort to speak someone else’s language … you are saying to them, “I understand that you have a culture and identity that exists beyond me. I see you as a human being.”
Trevor’s mom to Trevor “He’s like an exotic bird collector,” she said. “He only wants a woman who is free because his dream is to put her in a cage.”
Trevor thoughts “… relationships are not sustained by violence but by love. Love is a creative act. When you love someone you create a new world for them. My mother did that for me.”
Trevor feelings about his step-dad, as well as his step-brothers’ feelings about their dad “Growing up in a home of abuse, you struggle with the notion that you can love a person you hate, or hate a person you love.”
Trevor’s mom to Trevor “God spoke to me, Trevor. He told me, ‘Patricia, I don’t do anything by mistake. There is nothing I give you that you cannot handle’.”
Trevor’s mom to Trevor “You cannot blame anyone else for what you do. You cannot blame your past for who you are. You are responsible for you. You make your own choices."
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Abdulrazak Gurnah shed light on the life in Tanzania during and the British rule, Zanzibar Revolution in 1963, and dictatorships as portrayed in Salim’s life. Gravel Heart described the shattered childhood of Salim in Zanzibar, and his adulthood in London and Brighton where he tried to find himself while obtaining his BSc in Literature.
When Salim was 7 his dad left their house, where the 3 of them and his uncle, Amir lived. He left because his wife Saida slept with the president’s son (Hakim) in order to help in releasing her brother. Amir was imprisoned due to being accused of raping the president’s daughter, Asha, yet it was consensual! At first, Saida expected her brother to agree with her that what she was asked to do was insulting, because she was married and had a son (Salim). She also worried about hurting and insulting her husband. Yet her brother begged her to do so, saying that she can tell her husband (Masud) ‘… you are doing a noble and courageous thing, saving your brother’s life.’
Saida told her husband about her meeting with both, Hakim and Amir. He was very upset and asked her no to do it because Hakim won’t let her go until he humiliates her! But she refused to listen and surrendered to the desires of the president’s son, because she wanted didn’t want to lose her brother – the only person left of her family. When she was a child, the villa of Saida’s parents was confiscated; her dad was murdered by the previous dictatorship due to being accused of treason; her mother died form a heart attack; followed by her grandma.
Masud’s soul was wounded, and he left when Saida was summoned by Hakim for the 4th time, despite that Amir was released after her 1st time with Hakim. Masud loved his wife dearly since he was a teenager, but only talked to her during the party thrown by the Youth League Party, which intended gather the youth to socialize. Masud even refused to leave Zanzibar and go live with his parents and sisters in Dubai, where his father found a teaching position, because of Saida.
After leaving the shack, Masud lived in a room in the back house of his friend Khamis, who paid back the kindness of Masud’s father. Saida felt bad about her husband and kept taking him food everyday and do his laundry, who later was replaced by their son Salim.
With time, Hakim fell in love with Saida! He even asked her to marry him after having their baby girl, Munira. She refused at first, but later she filed for divorce, married him, and lived in the house that Hakim bought for her and Munira. Hakim used to visit them all the time, but he lived in his own house with his 1st wife and other children. During his teenage-hood, Salim felt anger towards his mom after slightly understanding that his mom did something that upset his dad. He also destroyed many items such as his uncle’s TV, the phone that was placed by Hakim.
His uncle Amir solved this issue by taking Salim to live with him and his family in London, where he was a diplomat and later became the ambassador of Tanzania. It was his way of paying back his sister’s sacrifice. So when Salim finished high school, he went to London to study business. Amir married Asha and had a boy and a girl, before which he was given a scholarship to study public relations in Edinburgh.
In London, Salim failed after the 2nd year because he didn’t like the subject. He told his uncle that he wanted to study literature, which is his passion that he inherited form his dad! Salim read all his father’s books, which he took to him before leaving to London. Amir fumed and stated that he was an ungrateful son and nephew, and that he would be on his own if insisted on leaving business school. So Salim left after being kicked from his uncle’s house and rented a room, since he was working in a nearby story. Amir only gave him a financial letter to the university to help him in keeping his student visa, despite not funding him. Later he moved to study literature in the University of Brighton and graduated after 4 years. During these years, he lived in several houses including the OAU (Organization of African Unity) house that Mr. Mgeni (from Zaїr also known as Congo) owned. Mr. Mgeni called it OAU because all his residents where from Africa - Sierra Leone, Nigeria, South Africa., and Tanzania.
Salim became friends with the residents, and over the years he also met guys from Iran, India, West Indies, and Malaysia. He also hooked with several girls, but only loved the British-Indian Billie, whose mom and brothers forced her to leave Salim because he was dark skinned Muslim! Mr. Mgeni also connected him with a Sudanese lawyer who got him a residence permit.
After about 15 years (when Munira was 18), Salim returned to Zanzibar upon hearing about his mom’s death (from a stroke), and his dad’s return to Zanzibar (who was taken by Salim’s grandfather to Kuala Lumpur, where he lived with his family after leaving Dubai). Salim met his sister, whom he loved, and paid her his condolences. Then visited his father and asked him about what happened between him and his mom.
Masud told the story and stressed on that Saida was used and betrayed by Hakim and her brother Amir for their own good! Masud asked Salim if he wanted to stay in Zanzibar, he answered that he needed to go back to England and finish his life journey; to learn from meeting different people, getting over his childhood wounds, and make peace with himself before getting back home. Salim met Hakim for the first time (and probably the last) before leaving because of Munira’s insistence. He thanked him for burying his mom. Hakim on the other hand, offered him a job if he ever decided to come back to Zanzibar. Yet Salim thought that if he returned, he would never work for him! He didn’t want to become Hakim’s puppet! Sadly, Masud died the night Salim left for London, and was buried by Khamis. He was told all this by an email from Munira!
The book highlighted ‘Zanzibar Revolution’ in 1963 that was led by the Ugandan John Okello, and assisted by the Soviets (who supported land reform). This resulted in overthrowing the Arabic Sultan and annexing this island with Tanzania, which got its independence form the British rule in 1961! Yet they kept interfering in Zanzibar because as Masud told his son “The British had no business interfering in this internecine mayhem – they had not yet taken our little territory in hand for its own good – but they did so anyway because they wanted the world to run as they liked it, even if it was only a caprice on their part.” The revolution intended to remove the Arabs from Africa, who were ruling this land for almost 2 centuries. Africans felt that Zanzibar, which its official language is Swahili despite that many speak Arabic, should be ruled by an African.
After the revolution, many Arabs and Indians left Zanzibar and went to work and live in India and Arab or Muslim countries. They were not allowed to take anything with them except few clothes! No jewelry or money or valuables were allowed out of the island because the government feared smuggling the country’s treasures! During these times, landlords too were not allowed and anyone who hired a person or asked anyone for rent was imprisoned. But these harsh rules changed after assassinating the dictator in mid-1970s, and the new government applied less constraints onto its citizens.
The author depicted Salim’s feelings of being torn between returning home and living abroad. Moreover, he portrayed how the hectic life of an irresponsible selfish man who abused his sister’s love and gave her up just to save himself and climb onto the ladder of power like a parasite. Amir was a shameless man because he perceived shame as a trait of weakness. This was beautifully shown in the way Salim narrated Shakespeare’s play Measure for Measure to his father, and quoting the words of Isabelle’s brother to her “Death is a fearful thing. What sin you do to save a brother’s life becomes a virtue”, who was asked by Lord Angelo to surrender to him to save her brother Claudio, despite vowing to become a nun!
Gurnah also painted a perfect image of dictatorships, and how authoritarians abuse their position to get what they want, stay powerful, and transfer authority and position to their second generation. This was expressed on Masud’s tongue; “People were detained and released, or sometimes not, regularly over the years, but no one close to me had been taken before. Despite everything that had happened, no one had stood in front of me and threatened me with arrest. We had learnt to gratify the powerful with timorous obedience.” And “The new owners of the government and its offices did so contemptuously, pursuing women they desired without fear of causing offence, or perhaps they did so with such indiscretion deliberately to cause offence, in the way that men look to humiliate their defeated rivals by treating their mothers and sisters and wives with disrespect.”
This also was seen in Saida’s words to Salim about the helplessness of the people of Zanzibar during the dictatorship that murdered her dad “They had all become like that, too ashamed of their puniness to feel anything like indignation or rebellion, to know how to resist these monstrous wrongs, and all they could manage was a subdued, helpless grumbling among themselves.”
My favorite quotes:
‘The beginning of love is the recollection of blessings: then it proceeds according to the capacity of the recipient, that is, according to his deserts.’ Abu Said Ahmad ibn Isa-al-Kharraz, Kitab al-Sidq (The Book of Truthfulness) (899), trans. Arthur J. Arberry (1937).
Salim’s grandfather to his daughter Saida ‘No one bid the British to come here,’ my mother’s father said. ‘They came because they are covetous and cannot help wanting to fill the world with their presence.’
Masud to his son “I have never been able to love again because shame emptied my body and left me without vitality.”
Salim to his dad about his life in London ‘The whole world ends up in London somehow, … The British never left anyone in peace and squeezed everything good out of everybody and took it home, and now a bedraggled lot of niggers and turks have come to share in it.’
Masud to his son ‘… I lived with the misery of love gone wrong, and I almost lost my life.’
Argita and Detina Zalli captivatingly narrated the adventure of their family to leave Albania after its collapse, and the harsh immigration journey across Europe to become refugees in England when they were teenagers in their book Good Morning Hope. This true story is about hope, self-confidence, maturity, family love, and traumas due to exposure to violence in Albania, physical and verbal abuse in England.
In 1997, Gita and Deti were 11 years old when Albania government collapsed due to being involved in Ponzi schemes. So, Albanians lost their money, resulting in chaos and violence. Men, who wrapped their heads with scarfs, started attacking schools, parks, and people on buses carrying guns and rifles. Young girls and women also were abducted, sex-trafficked, and forced into prostitution! Other men even attacked the school of the Zalli twins! So, schools were closed from March till the end of the summer. This encouraged Mr. Zalli to immigrate to London or New York.
During a summery day, the twins begged their parents to go the beach since they have been locked in the house for 4 months. Sadly, on their way back home, two men with rifles attacked their bus and looted money, gold, and other valuables from the passengers including the Zalli family. On another occasion, the twins’ dad was attacked at work - Albpetrol Company! This trauma caused him to stay home form sometime until the company’s management took better precautions against the mobs. One day and while Gita went to buy ice cream for her and Deti, who sat with 2 of their friends, a couple of men approached the 2 girls asking them to join them on their ride. But the girls refused, so the men abducted the 2 girls and placed them in their car. Then one of the men returned for Deti, who ran away and hid in the alleys. So, the man left her because his mate was worried of being caught! This incident left Deti traumatized causing her to have nightmares!
Finally, Mr. Zalli found someone who can take them by a speedboat to Brindisi, Italy, from where they could go to Milan and obtain a visa to the US. This would cost them $15,000! Mr. Zalli paid $500 in advance, and his friend, who lives in Philadelphia, would pay the rest when they reach it! Yet, upon reaching the shore of Vlorë, there was not a speed but an inflatable boat, in which 20 Albanians sat with their belongings. The journey wasn’t easy as the Italian border patrol warned them of the storm, but they continued until they were risking their lives. So the co-pilot forced the pilot to return back!
Luckily, their neighbor knew a doctor who had connections in Europe. The doctor asked for $12,000 to take them by plane to England using legal visas. This huge amount of money depressed Mr. Zalli, but his wife stated that she has been saving and they had $4,000. So he just needed to borrow the rest from their relatives. They got the money and 2-week business Schengen visas (from a Western European Embassy where the doctor had a connection), in which the twins were added onto their mom’s visa. They started dreaming about going to school in the UK and visiting Big Ben. At the same time, they were sad for having to leave their friends, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins without saying goodbye, as secrecy was key in their situation.
On July 24th 1999, the family left their house. However, and to the shock of the Zalli family, the doctor told them many people were returned to Albania upon landing in Heathrow. So he promised to get them there by traveling to Italy by the ferry, then cross to Paris, and then to London! This made Mr. Zalli and his brother furious, but they accepted the changed plan, and drove to Durrës seaport where they took the ferry. However, the Albanian officer refused to get them on board; stating that their visas were not legit, and the Italians would return them back! So the doctor’s mediator intervened and paid him some money, after which they got onto the ferry.
In Bari (port in Italy), Mr. Zalli stopped in a separate line from his family waiting his turn on passport control. He got in, yet his wife and daughters were forbidden and would be returned to Albania. At this moment, the twins, who speak Italian (learnt it at school), asked the officer to double check their visa on his computer. After a few sentences form the twins, the officers asked their commander to let them in, who after some thought, answered that the visa wasn’t legit, but he would turn a blind eye. So they got into Italy, and were picked up by Besim (another mediator), who drove them to Foggia where they stayed form 2 nights. The Zallis had to shred their Albanian passports to prevent patrols or officers from knowing their identity.
Besim later dropped them at the station, where they took the train that took 8 hours to reach Milan. The following day, they took the 10-hour train to Paris. Another mediator waited for them in St. Lazare station, who dropped them at a hotel to be picked up the next day. Then they took another train to Boulogne, where they thought that they would get on the ferry to England. Yet, they were smuggled into trucks, leaving their 4 big bags behind! The trucks then were loaded onto the ferry! Throughout this stressful adventure, the Zallis kept hiding whenever they saw an officer, whether it was on the street, in stations, or on trains.
Upon getting out from the truck on July 31st 1999 in Folkestone port (in Kent), the border patrol caught everyone. Like the rest of the run-aways, the Zalli family was held in a room of the immigration services. The smugglers told these immigrants to state that they were from Kosovo since it is easier to be accepted as a refugee. Yet, upon interrogating the parents separately, the officers discovered that they were Albanians. Nonetheless, they got a 2-month stay in Folkestone from the Immigration Nationality Directorate (IND). They stayed for 2 months in the Gran Canaria Hotel, at the expense of the social services. Throughout this time, Don Carlos helped them whenever they needed anything such as finding a school for the twins.
In October 1999, they succeeded in the English evaluation test and got into the Channel School in Folkestone. To the opposite of the twin’ expectations, British students bullied and attacked them in the cafeteria, called them scum Slovaks, and yelled at them to go back to where they came from! This shocked the twins, who didn’t know the reason for such hatred! Despite this negative environment, they excelled in school, shocking most students in their class, esp. in math. This is because some Europeans (and Americans based on my experience) think that their country and education system are the best! Therefore, they look down onto non-Europeans and even on these from Eastern Europe, similar to the suffering of Deti and Gita.
Over time, the twins adapted to the school, and decided to concentrate on their education and forget about the bullies, esp. that they didn’t want to make their parents worry. They also started waiting tables in the Gran Canaria Hotel to help their parents in paying their debt.
Luckily, the Zalli’s IND was extended for another 2 months, then for additional 2 years (July 2002). The family also were given an old house, furnished with modest furniture and broken TV, and the social services provided them with cooking utensils. Nevertheless, these days and years were very stressful for the family because they were worried of being deported at any time. Their house also was attacked by boys form the twins’ school, by throwing stones and slurring at them. So Mr. Zalli took Deti and tried to talk to the boy’s dad. But to his shock, they were faced with hatred! They weren’t welcome in their country.
In April 2000, the twins started working as waiters in the Blanc Hotel restaurant, where 2 of the bullies (Caroline and Daisy) joined them after a few months. Against the expectations of the twins, this turned out to be good since they got to know the bullies and became friends with them. Deti even discovered that Caroline let out her anger onto others because her divorced parents (addicted dad and alcoholic mom) neglected her and her little brother. Deti discovered that the love of her family is the greatest gift of all.
Later, Mr and Mrs. Zalli joined the staff of the Blanc Hotel restaurant too. It was the only job they could find since unlike their daughters, they don’t speak English. Sadly, on June 25th 2002, the night of the GCSE science exam, Mr. Zalli had a heart attack and stroke while on his way with his wife home. So the twins called an ambulance, after which they left a voice message to their mom’s Kosovar friend Bytyci. Their dad survived and the twins got the highest grade in the school.
In September 2004, they received amnesty - an indefinite leave to remain in England. This was achieved with the help of Jenny, their social worker, who contacted their lawyer and the Home Office. Jenny supported them because the twins got accepted into the University of Sussex, which was conditional on having a kind of residency in the UK. Eventually the twins were accepted into the molecular medicine in the University of Sussex, which was supported by a scholarship.
The Zallis were able to pay their debt and visit Albania in December 2005. Today, Gita and Deti have a family, and live near their parents in England. Gita received her PhD in immunology, and currently work at the University College London. She is also a learning design lead at the Imperial College, and a fellow at the Higher Education Academy. Deti got a PhD in biochemistry, and got into Harvard School for Dental Medicine. Currently, she is the director of Pre-Medical Studies at Cambridge University, after being a senior academic at the University of Oxford in oncology. She also has a certificate from NASA’s Spaceflight Technology, Applications, and Research Program. Both received prestigious awards in research and science and worked with Nobel Prize laureates. They also founded We Speak Science to support science and researchers from all over the world, and the Zalli Foundations to promote kindness via storytelling.
In this book, the Zalli twins described the beauty of Albania, but the schools were shabby and had no heaters in the 1990s. Teaching history in England was better and more fun due to using videos, showing what happened in the past. They also noted that in Albania, fruits like banana were expensive and eating them was luxury, yet they were able to eat banana in Folkestone by purchasing it from the farmers market.
This true-story is about holding on to hope and never giving up, as well as self-confidence, perseverance, and enduring the obstacles that a person face to reach ones’ goal similar to grapes that must be pressed to make wine. For instance, the Zalli family were traumatized due to exposure to violence in Albania, the horrible traveling/transportation conditions, as well as physical and verbal abuse in England. They got over all these experiences, which caused the twins to mature at an early age, because of family love.
My favorite quotes:
Deti thoughts at Bari port, “Everyone tells you it’s all over. You’re like a wounded bird – your wings drop and you feel drained of energy and hope. But then suddenly, slowly, you recover your strength and start to fight. Gradually, another part of you awakens, giving birth to belief, to conviction that you can do it. You can climb that mountain and overcome all odds.”
Deti thoughts at Bari port about being helped by Mother Mary (whose figurine was given to her by her aunt, and remained in her hand throughout the trip) to speak to officers in Italian, “Someone had helped us rev up our determination and transmit our hearts’ desire into their hearts. That someone was in the palm of my hand. Thank you, Mother Mary. Tonight, she taught me if you really wanted something, you could get it, because deep inside, you knew the steps you needed to take to succeed.”
Gita thoughts about her dad and quitting (not to do the exam) when her dad got sick, “He (Mr. Zalli) taught us to be fighters, to face any situation. No matter how difficult the challenge, we had learned to confront it head on without trying to hide or make excuses.”
Gita thoughts when she became 18, and was accepted with her sister in the University of Sussex, “We weren’t afraid of the unknown because we discovered that maturity had everything to do with the acceptance of uncertainty.”
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